Maybe, yes?

*Beep.

"Terima kasih, betul lah you kata, dia suka, dan dia terharu, thanks"
"No sweat. Kan betul I kata."

I threw my phone away, put on my running pants, tied my hair high. I went out , running through the solemn night- as solemn as my heart, as sad. I wasn't sure how I was feeling, or why I was sad. But I felt heavy. I felt sad.

I walked past those few dogs I hated all this while. This time around, the dogs didn't come towards me, in fact they didn't even bark. They just looked and ignored me. Even bad dogs ignored me. Ha ha so pitiful.

I was thinking, maybe I was being over-reacting. I thought people would treasure me as how I always treasure them. I put expectation; and that kills me. Memories of how we spent time with each other came to my mind, continuously, flowing like Nile river. I guessed, that was it. He found his missing rib--and obviously it was not me.

That was it. As much as I hate bad dogs, I hate being too close with someone's boyfriend. I should move on, I thought. But it's super duper hard. It feels like forcing yourself to puke on your favourite person; like asking you to stop drinking your favourite drink. It never as easy. "Tapi kenapa?", my friend once asked. "Bukannya kau nak kat dia pun!" -- well that's the problem. I like him. I really really really really really like him. But I know it's not love - not yet (berdoa)

So the next few days, I changed routes. I usually passed through his house to go to work, but not anymore. I started to masturdate - eat and doing stuff alone (like how I used to). I don't start virtual conversations no more and macam-macam lah.

 I was struggling.

(well, am still struggling)

*Beep

"Eh jomlah lepak"
"Mana?"
"Nanti discuss, 10 minit I tiba"

Maybe, not.

"I dah tiba" was what I sent him when I reached his house. Saw his few housemates outside but the sky looked more interesting with stash of fluffy clouds and streaks of warm sun rays. An aeroplane was flying , I hoped they reached their destination safely. 

I suddenly caught a glimpse of him, walking outside the door of his house, closing the green gate, towards my petty car. He was looking calm. He always looks calm, unlike me. With his phone and wallet in one hand, he was crossing the road. 

Ah this guy. His eyes shape like almonds, his gaze could make every heart melts. He has thick brows that make his face better each time I looked. He has this kind of smiles that make you feel loved and cared . I believe his words are every females' lullabies - females love to be around him. And when I said love, they really love to be around him. It's like he carries bottles of love potion everywhere he goes. He could make your heart grows fonder when he disappears. Sometimes I think those stupid girls are overreacting -- and annoying like shit.  

What would always be in his mind, I always wonder.  

"Lama ke tunggu? I baru bangun." 

" Ah, dasar"

His scent filled up my car-- my favourite scent. 

So we went to the restaurant where we first had our dinner. Not my favourite but something brought us there. We sat exactly at the same table, ordered the same menu and reminisced old times. 

He inhaled, looking restless. I stared at him. 

"Tahu tak, Setiap pagi I akan bangun dan perkara yang pertama sekali I fikirkan selalunya pasal you. Bila I balik rumah, I akan rasa teruja untuk kembali ke sini, untuk bertemu dengan you. I rasa I amat suka akan you, walaupun I cuba nafikannya."

"Wow."

"Lepastu I akan bagi dia hadiah yang I beli masa I pergi Bali haritu. Okay tak you rasa? I nervous amat lah". 

"I rasa that would be more than enough. She would love it, just do it. Don't think too much", and I smiled. 

"Thanks, you selalu bantu I, like really. Bertuahlah siapa yang dapat you, monami!"

"Heh, biasalah. I kan kawan you, sampai bila-bila"

Hahahaha

Oh yes. Ini adalah post gigih. Bila mana hang patutnya tidur dan dalam beberapa jam sahaja lagi hidup kau akan dipenuhi perkara perkara duniawi yang sibuk, lantas kau berborak pula dengan diri sendiri meluahkan rasa hati di laman yang jarang dijenguk orang ini. Tapi tak mengapa. Kita menulis untuk meluahkan rasa hati dan jarang pula ingin mencari pengikut. (Tapi, yang mengikuti tu, terima kasihlah. Saya sangat hargai kamu, muahh. Ok over) Dan personally saya rasa ini kesannya apabila hang tidur petang. So bila hang tidoq petang, hang akan lambat tidoq malam. Tengok lah. La dah pukul 2.30 pagi. Oh mengapalah hari ni hari Isninnnnnn?

Ok berhenti jadi gila.

Dilema Dya #1

Sebenarnya hari ni nak cerita pasal perkara yang sering bermain dalam kepala semenjak dua menjak ni. Mengenai dilema gua ah. (Tetiba jadi 'gua' sebab kononnya rock.) Semenjak menginjak (wow rhymes) ke 23, semakin kita sedar kepada tanggungjawab atas dunia, semakin kita sedar kita semakin dewasa. Semakin kita sedar bahawasanya kita dah semakin kurang bergantung dan semakin malas nak susahkan parents kita. Semakin kita sedar yang sebenarnya parents kita juga bergantung pada kita.

Khususnya bab meluahkan perasaan.

Sebagai seorang anak, saya mula sedar bahawasanya saya juga tempat ibu dan abah saya meluah perasaan mereka; tentang segala benda. Tentang kegembiraan mereka, tentang suka, duka, tentang kecil hati mereka, tentang bangganya mereka. Tentang semualah.

Pastu yang paling dilema bila hang kena jadi pengadil kepada mereka tatkala mereka bersengketa.
Ditelan mati emak, diluah mati bapa. Adohai. Esok dah baik semula. Lulllzz.

Dilema Dya #2

Saya tak pernah suka cartoon characters yang melampau. Atau terlalu suka akan bayi yang melampau. Sebab cartoon satgi time hang tengok la hang suka gila pastu hang tak suka pastu sian kartun sebab dah takda siapa suka. Begitu juga bayi. Comel tatkala kecil ja, bila besaq comelnya nan hado. Tapi saya kalah terhadap watak Agnes dalam filem The Despicable Me. Juga kepada Bakti Arjuna Fitri. Sampai termimpi dol.
Awat comel teghok woi. Kan dah Auntie Dya jadi die-hard fan. Lulz.
(Mana tah dilemanya tohle)

Dilema Dya #3

Dalam hati macam nak ada pacaran, tetapi otak habaq "hang bersedia kah untuk menjadi tipikal kekasih?". Otak juga berkata "Woi kau ni feeling dol." Komitmen pun malas nak tanggung. Bukan takdak yang mencuba namun......

"Jangan berangan lah", kata doppelganger saya.

Dilema Dya #4

Saya selalu dilema sama ada haruskah saya berbuat jahat kepada mereka yang berbuat jahat kepada saya. Ya ini suatu dilema yang remeh tapi gua selalu ada masalah tatkala nak react terhadap suatu perkara yang merobek sanubari. Dan kalau pun nak meluahkan rasa atau menulis atau cuba menulis tweets konon nak marah mesti tak berapa menjadi sebab walau aku menulis dengan penuh rasa marah aku akan padam dan cuba menjadi se-general yang mungkin. Ini sungguh tidak sihat kepada sanubari aku kerana mereka yang berbuat jahat akan berfikiran yang aku ini sungguh lame.

 Atau tidak.

Tapi aku tak lupa kejahatan mereka. Dan itu tak membantu ponz. Lulz.

Dilema Dya #5

Saya sebenarnya awkward dengan orang yang suka puji diri sendiri. Kalau hang memang cekap, komitmen dan kerja yang hang buat bermutu tinggi memang layakla hang diberi pujian. Itu wa tarak hal. Tapi dilema sikit dengan orang yang puji diri mereka cantik atau kacak.

Contohnya:

"Hey, he's not looking at you guys ah, he's looking at me, hahahaha" . Itu contoh dalam perbualan. Atau ada sesetengah yang rajin menulis semula peristiwa seperti :

blablablabla...Dia kata I cute, I taktahu nak cakap apa. -_-" haha

Sumpah ini langsung takde kaitan dengan rasa cemburu. Ramaiiiiiiiii gila manusia dalam dunia ini yang chanteque jua kacak tapi lawak puji diri sendiri memang tak berapa nak kelakar dan orang yang mendengar pasti tak tahu nak buat apa.  Hang nak suruh aku ketawa dan pastu?

Tapi kita pasti dapat beza kalau ada yang betoi2 nak buat lawak poyo puji diri seperti itu. Saya ada juga teman rapat yang sebegitu yang bila dia kata,

"I ni handsome/cun kan?"

Kau boleh EUW setepek muka dia dan gelak tak hengat donia.


**
Bosan lah. Nak tidoq pun takleh.

Esok ada kokurikulum.

Agnes awat hang comei? 

My favourite picture

Last Friday, we took a lot of pictures together. 

So, this is ED220 U6B. Say hi everyone. Haha!

love♥

dyaJ

Midsem break

It's been a long time.
I don't find the right time. Writing has been a big issue for me. I started to realize that not every writings are worth reading nowadays thus I really really want to produce one that is worth reading or at least,looking. And not just a lousy crappy piece of work like I think I used to do in my last-minute assignments years back (hamboi years. lol) Naah but somehow I read few articles (not research journals ya wahaha) and those are not satisfying. Gittew sesuka hati. But seriously, some people write for pleasure;which we know la why and others write things because they feel they need to write something; which i don't really prefer (aicehh.haha) nowadays, you know what I mean. Hurm.

It is mid-sem break this week. I find time flies so fast I am already in my third year, 6th semester and I am so gonna finish my study next year and I am so gonna turn 23 next year and I am so gonna feel like I am still young despite the fact that my mom got married when she was 23 and I am not really freaking out but i think time moves sooo fast like seriously. Assignments are like toot. I don't like MTW (Meth in Writing) because I feel dumb and usually I will feel like that even though I know I am better. I don't like the idea of repeating Research Methodology again.....I just don't like the concept of it. Plus, I think I don't like reading journals as well. ijdfiwkbciwdcb let's not talk about this.

I performed in FSKM (Fakulti Sains Komputer and Maths) few weeks ago during their Anugerah Dekan dinner which was held in Dewan Agong Tuanku Canselor which is such a beautiful hall and so luxurious and big and awesome and air-conditioned and the food was marvellous. Haha. Aisyah and I were nervous I think we didn't even take pictures except for the ones we took in the toilet. The toilet was nice btw. Ada dua ketul gambar and that's all. HAHAH. Punyalah kabut kau berdua! Muka sememeh lak tu haihs.

Kepada Bos Encik Api, maaf ye nanti saya post entry baru di PP. Huehue. Kering ide ni.


p.s: My batchmate Farah Adila had just sent me her wedding invitation through FB. Wahahaha tengok tu tengok tu sorang lagi nak kahwin! Aaaaaa



love ♥
dyaJ

Waima.

Lama juga tak update blog.
I lost track of almost everything, I need to recover.
My planner is somehow near to empty when I know there are a lot of things piling up my schedule.
This semester's timetable is quite good. We have no class on Friday, yesza!
Hair is getting longer and thicker. I almost want to chop it off but no. I want to be Rapunzel hohoh!
I'm going home tomorrow evening InsyaAllah.
I'm nervous for Pasar Boco I'm joining next week.
I don't feel like sleeping, yet.

I am hungry.

I actually have two cats at home. Adult cats called Dabu and Riri. So this Dabu had delivered 4 kittens a month ago (kot) and  I named them as Nemo, Junior, Kang and Cholo. However, Junior died a week after. But one unfortunate day, somehow at one night suddenly Junior went out of kandang when everyone else is in the kandang and a big male cat attacked her. We tried to save her but she died few days later. So, left Cholo and Kang. One day, when we went balik kampung or something, Abah said it was okay to let them out of the cage. But when they got home, the kittens were gone. Someone had stolen our kittens. Until Kang tetiba balik rumah. So motifnya dia sekor2 je. He was so unhappy. He didn't really play and stuff. So One day Abah went home bringing two kittens and Dabu accepted them and so do us. So, introducing la these two new kittens at home. Haa they've got red noses and very fluffy and fat and cute.

Okay motif cerita pasal kucing. K bye.

love ♥
dyaJ

To Fro

Assalamualaikum. 

Sesetengah hari boleh tidur, sesetengah lagi mungkin tidak. Ini semua angkara meminum Nescafe di malam hari. Kalau kat Shah Alam bolehh je tidur, ni kat rumah berkesan pulak mencegah kehadiran rasa mengantuk. Isk.  

I've been tutoring my cousins for PMR this semester break, only on Sundays. On weekdays, I am a driver of the family. To any place. Ha. and this little princess (?), fetching her to and fro school. Jadi skill memandu saya dah bertambah dengan jayanya haha perasan gila. 

Keduanya, saya sangat berbangga kerana lagu tema drama adaptasi novel tulisan Aisya Sofea, Gemersik Kalbu nyanyian Dato' Siti bertajuk Hati Berbisik. Muahahahahahahahaha. Hati Berbisik?Hati Berbisikkkk? Adakah ini lagu tema blog saya? Kenapa nak tajuk sama url blog saya ini?? Hahahahahahaha bangga saya dua saat. hahahahahahhahaahahahahahurm okay over.

Bye.

love♥

dyaJ

Roundabout.

Hari tu pergi balik Shah Alam sekejap sebab Abah got things to do in Puchong Puteri (eh betul ke ni?) and we managed to take a look at my rented house. So we lepak-ed at the house sekejap before I realized bila kita semua dah balik and arrived home, I actually left my precious beautiful lovely netbook there. So I was scolded for being such a lousy woman which is somehow betul lah tu. Lalai gila. So yesterday, my mother, my sister and I went back to SA dan ambil semula netbook itu.

Lesson #1: Sila jangan lalai. Dan sila double-check everything before you leave.

Okay, on our way back to Perak bumi bertuah (haha) kamiorang singgah sebentar bersama KitKat ke Sungai Besar sebab nak makan. Roti Canai. Dan sebuah restoran berjaya dipilih, and so go into the house when suddenly i get the urged to use the toilet. So I went and it was found out that the toilet was locked and I went back to the waitress to ask. She said there was another toilette somewhere behind the wall but it turned out to be MALE toilet. And dia kata "Guna je. Takde orang dalam tu". Masalahnya takde tandas duduk tu. Takkan nak shishi di atas lantai? Mehh apa ini?

Lesson #2 : Sila pandai mengawal segala pundi supaya dapat mencari tandas yang sesuai apabila perlu.

So I was hungry and before I sit back after I went to the toilet, I asked la that man a kueytiaw goreng when suddenly he shouted, yes shouted "TAKDE TAKDE". I was shocked I nearly cried because he was that rude. He's an old man by the way and I was being as polite as I can asking for that bloody kueytiaw goreng.
Hilang selera selepas itu. Lol.

Lesson #3 :  Even Old people can be rude, nowadays. So be prepared.


I love to watch people and how they lead their life. I am so grateful to be borned and raised in this country. You know, everything was beautiful, tadi I watched devoted Hindus celebrating Thaipusam, and I saw lots of  kindness being spread. I love it. I love it. I love the colours of their attires saree punjabis and everything. Warna warni bro! Haha best gila. Terus teringat sekarang fashion dah trend colour block kan in which pakai baju dgn striking colours semuanya seolah olah diinspirasikan oleh Barat walhal I di sini kita Asians (esp Indians) kot yang dah lama pakai trend ni dalam kehidupan seharian dia orang. Baju turqoise seluar maroon and everything. Cumanya kita selalu tak nampak dan bila Barat uar-uarkan trend tu barulah nak ikut dan agungkan. Haih, apa la.

Goodnight.


love♥
dyaJ

#1

Yesza. I've changed the layout since i need more space for pictures and I changed the header too. No more dinosaur thingies, I'm moving on to 'theNomad' hehe. I love it. Yeay.

Err.

So, what I did yesterday was..,

We had fun. Though it may be just for few hours. Okay lah tu.

love♥

dyaJ

Telegram

Ini bukan untuk saya sahaja, ini untuk kita,semua. 

love♥

dyaJ

Epic moment

Hello mello schmello.

Dalam kesibukan hidup sebagai seorang pelajar yang perasan berdedikasi dan komited dalam menjalankan tugas seharian dan mengendalikan program program ilmuan, maka, segala penat lelah keringat hilang bila kita berjaya masuk Buletin Utama dan Utusan Malaysia. Hahahahahaha.

Tepuk tangan sikit. :D

love♥

dyaJ

Spent the whole day with classes and these whole tiresome time consuming waiting time photo-shoot for debat211jam before we,

flew off to the NSTP Well Lit session yesterday on Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go, a depressing good sci-fi novel. There was a very nice sculptures and arts exhibition by a local artist I forgot his name who lived in Langkawi at the gallery. I filled the whole page of his guest book saying how grateful I am to be a Malaysian to have such artist like him. 

Hahaha. Very propa one.

p.s : I registered for poem slam and talentime for the Alfresco. I am the faculty's rep for Squasy for SAF. very sporty one huh? LOL!

Love ♥

dyaJ

Bukulicious.

This is so damn random.
I finished reading Queen of Babbles Get's Hitched. I love it to bits.

There is a shelf of books to be read. I hope I could finish them all before the year ends.

How AidilAdha? Moomoos everywhere I think. :) Haha bukan selalu makan daging. So, inilah masanya nak hentam kan. lol. Kerja? Ada je kerja, banyak pulak tu tapi sama ada buat buat terlupa seketika atau sengaja buta. Yeah, right. Bosanlah, bila cakap pasal assignments je mesti mengantuk.


See you when I see you. Bye.



love♥
dyaJ

Gateaux is cake in French.

I found out both me and my room mate are in a condition at which we were like hanging on the clouds (no, it's not a good thing) and doomed to boredom and stress, yes life is a bit stressful when you have to send a whole-lot of the Creative Writing portfolio to Madam so that you can get back the mock-quiz paper this Thursday when you realized you actually have many other things to do, like writing journals for Research Methodology. Brruu. Or thinking about Sociolinguistics comparing journal or thinking you have a society to look for or a record-breaking event to attend to or paling teruk is HAVING A GUITAR WITHOUT ANY STRINGS. Boom, what's a guitar without it's strings gila? Haa. This semester alone, we did not play or sing, or make covers at all. Oh yes I did sang Yuna's song during the opening of the Entrepreneur Day last week but it was only a song where I had to go out from French class macam gila sebab takut Monsieur got mad and it was too short. Pfft. Plus, it was Fik who played his electric guitar so the feelings were different. Herm. And masa Tiko's birthday, tapi it wasn't with Aisyah. It wasn't in our very own room. It wasn't the very usual thing. So, here we are, staring at the guitar not doing anything about it since it is already near midnight, there's no music stores that are still open for business. We've been thinking maybe we could mock-play the thing but that is ridiculous and pathetic. Aisyah made few strings sounds, you know the greng greng sounds but it is not helping at all. We laughed at ourselves pathetically. We are two sad people stuck in the midst of boredom and of course with the tickling sounds of the raindrops outside. The sounds of the raindrops are our lullaby tonight.So I told Aisyah maybe we could hide it somewhere first before it wounds our heart more. Maybe we should put it somewhere in Aisyah's or my closet until we stumble upon the very free time to go and get the strings back on it. And we get it fully string-ed, I will make sure the first song I want to play is I Do by Colbie Callait. Heh.

Anyway,tonight is a cold night, colder than the other nights. As cold as my heart.Eh.

love♥

dyaJ

Fromage.

Assalamualaikum.

This is a mere update.

1. We're gonna have 3 tests this Monday. Ya, tiga tiga tiga, gila! Curriculum and Instruction in the morning; (whatever slides we have to read argh stress), Asmahan's Research Meth (whatever population and sampling to be read) in the noon and Sociolinguistics (SEVEN! TUJUH! woi chapters nak baca) at night. Today is Saturday and yesterday we had a test jugak. Tahniah tahniah kawan kawan! pfft. Won't start talking about assignments.

2. Other than all that, I do take part in the record breaking 211jam debat tanpa henti tu, as one of the committees. So....


Yes, I am busy. Busier if i have to list down things I suppose to do until December. I think, everyone is busy. Everyone has their own problems and things to do. Problems here and there, shizz here and there.
Sometimes I wonder what kind of life I lead nowadays. Macam pathetic sajoh.

Tapi apa apa lah, saya nak tengok Barbie as Princess and the Pauper,
tengahari nak tengok Hindi, petang nak exercise. Hahaha

Lupakan saja tests yang tiga itu. Pfft. (NOT!)




love♥
dyaJ

sepetang

We went to NSTP for our Contemporary Literature yesterday.

They discussed about the author whom I never read : Haruki Murakami.

I have no interest in reading any of his books pun. Lol

Anyways, I can't wait for A Thousand of Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini discussion next month.

I hope I've finished reading the novel when they discuss it later. hihi.

Can't wait for the food, sebenarnya. LOL

love ♥

dyaJ

Enigme

We are going to watch The Secret Life of Nora today. But I don't feel that happy. I don't know why. I feel like going home but I just can't. I have Asmahan's class from 1030 to 1230 and the time I spend at home will be too short if I go home after that. I have piles of assignments to do but I can't whine. It's unethical to whine about things under your responsibility. brrrr brr brrr.

It's already 0904. Oh no, 0907.

I'm stucked. Bye

love ♥

dyaJ

Happy?- ness

Dimensi dan peralihan masa.

Transferens dalaman luar sedar.

Luar kesedaran.

p.s : Orang tua kata, banyaklah ketawa, kejap lagi berduka.

       Betul lah tu.

love♥

dyaJ

I miss her.

My little sister. 

No, yang baju merah tu my cousin. LOL

love♥

dyaJ

Friday, 24th September

I believe everyone has a reason in doing something but I find it awfully annoying when I sent you a message of something important and I waited for your reply and you did send me nothing. So thinking that you might have less credits in you phone account whatever so I called you. And you did not answer. Okay, try again and you pick up and said few word I can't even decipher. More like laughing or maybe sneezing? Ah i don't know.Few more attempts and you rejected and ignored it. Thinking that maybe you've asleep, okaylah but to see you online in Facebook a few minutes after those calls is so not cool. Come on lah. Be professional please.

If you think you are so good in a particular thing, don't you ever belittle people and underestimate them. You think you know when you might don't even have the idea of other people's ability and knowledge. Some people prefer to be humble, you see. We learnt about multiple intelligences, bro. 

Assignments are piling up. Researches to be done. Journals to be written and more readings. This is tiring. Amboi mengeluh but this is confusing, tiring, boring eh tetiba. Haha. This is just the second week kot. Pfft kroo kroo kroo.

One Subway Sandwich waiting on the table. But I'm full.

I browse through my Indo trip's picture to find this image of  Melur beach. Nice one, right. Oh yes, manusia tu I. Hahaha tetiba nampak macam penguin tu dah kenapa -___-" pfft. Takpelah cuma nak kata God's creations are beautiful, why are we still not being grateful?

Dang, mengantuk. Goodnight loves.

Love♥

dyaJ