Separanoia

I started to realize that i don't really fancy the idea of spending the night(s) at someone else's house. Unless i have something important to do or it is my friends' rent house we're talking about. With this additional extra 4 months at home, i am so in love with the house i can't imagine i have to leave my petite room and sleep at a place of unknown.

First, i don't like to pack my things up. I hate to pick up the toothbrush la, shampoo la, bath foam and blablabla clothes, tudung bcgydubj. Banyak ko tau. Lappy is a must. Phone, chargers, purse womenstuffblablabla. It is annoying because i have to think what things i should bring and it takes a lot of time and i don't like to feel stress to know i did left something at home because i gesa gesa kemas benda. 

Second, I don't really like spending the night at people's place because i will feel awkward, not knowing what to do after i did something. Macam okay, dah makan, mandi pastu nak buat apa? Okay tolong menolong orang tua lepas tu? Lepas tu lepas tu? Bukak laptop main plant vs zombies dengan rasa bersalah. I hate this feelings.

Third, I feel insecure. Takut. Tidak selamat. For example, if my parents decided to spend the night at grandparents' house; usually ni time raya, i will be the most uncomfortable kid in the family. I can't sleep because i am afraid. This is basically due to the physical attributes that both houses had. Both grandparent's house are partially made up of wood. Setengah kayu setengah batu. So memang hampeh la aku nak tidoq dengan lenanya. Selalu tidur ayam dan dengar je keadaan sekeliling, seperti dengkuran saudara mara atau igauan dan tangisan anak kecil mereka. -_-

I know i have to fight these feelings away. I will, InsyaAllah

It's quite sometimes since i sleep at someone's house. But just now, when Abah told us that his uncle's son wedding is on Saturday and we have to sleep at Tok's house tomorrow's night,

I FEEL LIKE CRYING MY SOUL OUT. Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu T_T

love ♥

dyaJ

SamunKereta.

This morning,  my mom, she got back from sending my brother to school, pastu when she stopped the car before she tekan the remote of the gate, she saw a grey Waja like lalu. So okayla lalula sampai the end of the route. Then, the car u-turn and dropped a man. A very smart man wearing kemeja also in grey and slack with kasut hitam just like what boys usually wear on Mondays. Okay fine la, she wanted to tekan that remote, so she keluarkan her hand and that's the peak time where that bloody-shitty man rentap her hand, pushed her out from the car and flung.

Oh how i wish i could tell you what i feel right now. It's too sudden.
I was still sleeping then when my sister woke me up and said 'Mak jerit mintak tolong'
I jumped out from my bed, ha, amek kau berbaju tidur i went out of the house and see my mom crying at the end of the junction with few neighbours. I was like, 'Apa hal ni?' when my mom said someone, curi our car. Oh my. What the heck!

Few neighbours called me, one of them work as i-don't-know-what but she called the police since she works somewhere in the Pejabat Police then blablabla talked some more before took my bath and went to the Pejabat Polis, reporting and drawing the face of the penjenayah and such. and according to the police, that chinese man might carry a gun.

My dad is somewhere in Terengganu btw, attending some meetings. So there's only me, and baby. And my mom. And my just-got-back brother. He's angry. Very very angry.

My mom is not strong you know. She looks tough and sturdy but she's not, inside. she's as brittle as cookies.. We are like that. That is why i'm not even crying. Or weeping. Because I want to look strong. I told her we might get back her beloved car sooner or later so that she'll stop crying. I told her maybe Allah want to give us new car so that she'll laugh or at least smile. *Tapi tu pun macam tak menjadi sangat. She loves that car so much she doesn't even want to buy others when my dad offers her to, few months ago. I just pity her. She got luka luka and her hand macam tergeliat. Kesian my mom. Kesian her very very much. Nasib baik si baby tak ikut dia if not, i just can't think anymore.

I want to cry. I think i need to. But maybe later.
Semalam baru je i drive that car, today it's gone.

That's my dad and that's our car. 

p.s : Now, I'm weeping. Alone. I love that car too.

So sad, so,so sad.

takut woah!

ini ada satu kisah seram.
i can't sleep tonight.
dkt rumah ni yang x tdo lagi hanya i n faey.
faey dkt hall, and i was inside my room.
and then tetiba i sakit perut. i went to then toilet.
so waktu dalam toilet, suddenly ada bunyi ketawa.


ketawa okay tgh2 pagi pukul 4.motif?!
so i duduk diam dalam toilet tu. takut kot. menggeletar i.
ketawa dah la kuat. pastu berulang2 bunyi yg sama. frekuensi yg  sama.
mcm ada org mainkan tape recorder ketawa. 4 kali.


okay fine. i pun keluar la dr toilet. tanya faey.
n faey pun cakap dia dengar jugak. masalahnya sekarang ni.
faey dgr ketawa wanita. suara wanita. HILAIAN wanita!
sedangkan i dengar ketawa lelaki. suara lelaki.KETAWA jantan ye.
 MOTIF?!


kalau nak kata mat2 rempit atau kaki2 kereta lumba malam2,
mestila ktorg dengar bunyi vehicles dorg tu.
tapi during that time, we didnt hear anything except for the laugh.
kesimpulannya. kami berdua dah takut.


sekarang pun dah pukul 0515.
malas dah nak tdo.
faey tgh main gitar.
ktorg dalam bilik, pintu bertutup. 


mari berharap siang tiba dgn cepat!




p/s: wooah! mak,takut!


love ♥,